Warning Sign: When he’s mad at you there’s always a good reason (”I can’t believe you did that to me”). But when the tables are turned, he dismisses your concerns (”Don’t be so sensitive”).

Mend It: Clarify your goals and set limits. “People usually say they want the bad stuff to go away, but they don’t focus on what they’d like to replace it with,” says Bernstein. Tell your partner what you want in specific, nonjudgmental terms. “If his tardiness is the big issue, don’t say, `I wish you were more reliable.’ Try, `If you can’t be here within 15 minutes of the time you say you will, please call me,”‘ he says. “Many people think you shouldn’t use ultimatums in loving relationships. But you must set contingencies: ‘Give me what I want and this is what you get, and if you don’t this is what will happen.’”

End It: Obviously, you shouldn’t work as hard at a month-long relationship as you would at a marriage. Regardless of the length of the union, however, Coleman says, there are certain signs that suggest you should seriously consider leaving: physical or verbal abuse, very controlling behavior (e.g., he tries to isolate you from your friends and family) and frequent insults.

Getting out of an entrenched relationship is tough, so understand that your judgment may be impaired. Rely on people you trust for perspective and support, says Coleman. Depending on the severity of the situation, you may want to consult a therapist or call a domestic-violence hot line for advice.

When you are ready to end it, make as clean a break as possible, says Coleman. That means no conversation about why you can’t be together, no rehashing of old arguments. “Engage the toxic person and you just let him back into your head,” he says. If there are children involved or another reason why he will remain in your life, depend on your friends and others to help keep you from falling back in with him. Have faith that eventually you will develop clarity about the issue-and that you will find a relationship that feeds and nurtures you.

Sue Johanson’s Sex, Sex, And More Sex
Sue Johanson is host of Oxygen network’s Talk Sex with Sue Johanson and The Sunday Night Sex Show. Callers feel comfortable asking this grandmotherly nurse questions ranging from, “The condom slipped off, what should we do?” to “Is it okay to use vegetables to masturbate?”
In her book Sex, Sex, and More Sex, Sue answers frequently asked questions about sex. She offers tons of advice and health information. This book is great to reference for help with all bodily and romance issues.

Position of the Day Book
The Position of the Day Book offers enough new ideas to get you through the entire year. You heard me right, ladies, 365 new and exciting entanglements for you and your lover to try out. Each page has a drawn out picture explanation of each position, to keep it simple and fun. Along with the pictures, there are funny little names for each one. Like Sliding Into Home, the Greasy Spoon, Stuffing Her Goose, Deep Heeling, the Nutcracker, and the Art O’ Choke along with 359 other fun-to-do gems. It’s always refreshing to find new ways to explore one another. Also, this book is friendly to all types of couples. So everyone can get in on the action. Just make sure you both stretch out first. This way no one gets hurt. Some of these look pretty crazy.

How To Give Her Absolute Pleasure Book
How to Give Her Absolute Pleasure by Lou Paget is based on the secrets shared by hundred’s of men and women in seminars conducted by the author. Millions of men would like to know what women really like, and millions of women would like to tell them. This tasteful, well-written book is an ice breaker for those couples. How to Give Her Absolute Pleasure covers the areas of different sexual techniques, marital aids, women’s bodily functions and safer sex.
This book is 240 pages and comes with illustrations.

Tickle His Pickle
Tickle His Pickle is an informative and witty book for women by Sadie Allison. The book is a self-proclaimed penis instruction manual. You will learn how to seduce your man, give a great blow job or hand job, and what to do if he just can’t get it up. The book offers illustrations and is a very easy read.
After reading this book, you too can be a penis genius- and your man will love you for it.

Lusty Lovers Book
The Lusty Lovers Book is the definitve guide to hot-blooded sexual positions. This book contains over 160 full color photos that will give you some great ideas to use in the bedroom.
Think of this as your reference guide. Achieve maximum pleasure. Keep the Lusty Lovers book in your nightstand drawer.

The Tantric Sex Book
We have seen other books on Tantric Sex before but this book is different. The Tantric Sex Book honors the art of Tantra by offering background information about the techniques. It seems well research and well photographed. The subject matter seems to be presented in a way that everyone can use.
Here is a passage from the book entitled “Tantra for All”:
“You don’t have to ‘buy in’ totally to the traditional Tantric belief system to make Tantric sex work for you. One person may see following the Tantra as two people getting in touch with the cosmos, embodying in themselves the spirit of Shiva and Shakti, connecting with the dynamic energy in the universe and passing such force between them. Another may simply regard tantric sex as a way of focusing on their partner and themselves, of paying each other undivided attention and communicating honestly and fully as they get closer and more intimate.” Whichever way you view it, the result can be the same: a better relationship and an improved sex life.

Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women
I guess that title says it all. The definitive work on the subject. From browsing this title, I would say that the author really seems to know what she is talking about. I don’t know if that is a compliment or not.

Dr. Sprinkle’s Spectacular Sex Book
Dr. Sprinkle’s Spectacular Sex is the ultimate guide to great sex from one of the best authorities on the subject. This book introduces a dynamic program for enriching the overall qualit of life through better understanding and ambracing what can be one of the most powerful sources of happiness in our lives: our sexuality.
Sprinkle invites readers on a virtual visit to Dr. Sprinkle’s Sex-Life Makeover Center, where they will undertake a fourteen-step transformation process.

I bought those books from Relax and Reignite with RomanticGifts.com. Just hope you enjoy them too

The important aspect of living out our personal philosophy at home is that, basically speaking, we cannot run, if, we are to grow. We have to stay there and hammer out our differences. We have to talk through issues. There are life lessons to be discovered when we work thorough problems and learn to love someone with unconditional love.

However, at the work place we can go home and forget it. We can go back into our office and shut the door. We can find another work place. There are so many various ways to retreat and not have to work for a viable solutions.
Character seems to be hammered out when we work through obstacles, rather, than always running from problems.
If I were involved in hiring someone and had a choice I would rather hire a person who has demonstrated “stickability” in his home life. I would be looking for character. It is important to be able to interact with others, even, to the point of learning conflict resolutions.

What better place to learn how to handle conflict, then, at home?
Is it easy to “practice what you preach”? Not at all, especially, at home. We want to relax and drop our guard, but there are others who are being affected by our lives. Therefore, let’s influence them for good. Let’s show others how to not only make a living, but make a life. Let’s practice our views at home. We help others be successful in our professional world, so, let’s help those we live with to be successful too.

One dictionary definition of a contract is, “A binding agreement between two or more persons that is enforceable by law.” A contract, by definition, is a give/get relationship between two or more parties. You agree to do something and in return you get something for your efforts.

A builder signs a contract stating that he or she will build you a house and in return you agree to pay them a pre-determined amount of money. If the house is not built or the money isn’t paid, then it’s off to court.
Many great things have been accomplished through the use of contracts. A contract essentially attempts to keep honest people honest and dishonest people to a minimum.

A contract can be an extensive five-hundred page document, researched and compiled by top-paid lawyers over a grueling amount of time, listing multiple “what-if..” scenarios and agreed upon outcomes, or it can be a simple verbal agreement bound by a single handshake.

However, in most cases, when two people marry, the signed marriage registration document merely states that the two people mentioned in the document were joined in matrimony. It does not mention anything about things agreed upon – who will give what, and what they will get in return from the other person.

Even the vows don’t contain any “What I will get in return” statements. They only contain what each party will give and not what they will get. This is because love is a very powerful “life force”. It is not just an emotion. When someone truly loves another they don’t count the cost. Parents will risk their own lives without a thought to save the life of even one of their children.

Marriage is a contract in that it binds both people together, but it is much more than that. Marriage is a more like a covenant which is much deeper than a contract. In a marriage covenant, each party agrees to give themselves totally and unconditionally to their partner. It’s an “I’ll be there for you no matter what” attitude. That’s the commitment level required to make a marriage work.

Is this a hard commitment to live out in practice? Ask any marriage that has survived many years and you’ll hear the answer to be a resounding “Yes!” Marriage, like anything good, has to be worked at if it is to succeed and each party enjoy years of fulfilling life with their spouse. Ask those same couples if it was all worth it and you will also hear a resounding “Yes!”

Marriages break down when one or both of the parties consistently fails to live out their commitment to the other and the load is too much to bear for the other partner.
It’s only when both parties live out their married lives to each other as a covenant, and not just a contract, that a marriage can be strong and survive in today’s world.

Living out a full covenant of married love can bring a joy, a strength, a closeness, and a life filled with love that truly lasts until “death do us part”.

All too often the wedding day becomes about the bride rather than a couple. This has become customary due to the tradition that it was the responsibility of the bride’s family to pay for the wedding. Therefore, they had the greatest role in organizing the day. Today many couples are paying for their own wedding and their parents attend as guests. The bride still appears to make most of the preliminary arrangements with the assistance of female friends and relatives. The groom comes along to approve the final decisions, if he is lucky, … or brave.

There are those that simply want a lovely day incorporating basic essentials of a wedding. These women rarely have the whole day planned, just one or two ideas that they really like and a definite idea of what they don’t. The rest is negotiable. Then there is “Bridezilla”! Her day, and everybody else’s, is planned and executed with military precision. God help the poor individual who slips up and causes a inadvertent pause to proceedings. Whether her guests and bridal party participants have a great time is incidental. What matters most for her is the event, and her image of how it will all appear. Sadly most people remember her day, but not fondly. It is more often the stuff of dinner party horror stories after a few wines have been consumed. What really makes a day stand out for all in attendance are the out of the ordinary moments that surprise and delight.

Every country has numerous books and magazines featuring articles covering every imaginable aspect of a wedding. These are well researched and an invaluable source of information for everyone from the bridal couple to the Master of Ceremonies at the reception. Check your magazines for information detailing the latest wedding fashion for the bridal couple, their attendants and also parents of the bridal couple. For brides, it is important to keep in mind that this will probably be the most expensive dress you ever wear. It will also be the one you are most photographed in. If you are planning to buy an off the peg dress, it is still helpful to consult a professional dressmaker. A good dressmaker or designer can and should advise on the most beautiful and appropriate style for you. Very often their suggestions include something you have never thought of before. Every bride wants to do something “different”. Whatever you can imagine wearing, no matter how original you think it is, someone, somewhere has probably done it before.

As for the bridal party, please resist the temptation to outfit your bridesmaids in the most awful dresses you can imagine. Yes, you will look far more gorgeous in comparison. However, they are in the photos too. Whatever they are wearing will reflect your taste and style. Do you really want to record a moment where your closest friends and female relatives are looking hideous? If they are still single, you could be asked to be their matron of honour.

Family, what a minefield, especially when organizing seating arrangements. So many couples receive ultimatums from various family members, “If he is invited, I am not coming….!”. When we bring it back to bare bones once again, it is about sharing a important milestone in life with those who are nearest and dearest to you. Remember guests, you are there by invitation, not to create your own drama show that distracts from the couple. If perchance you are invited to an event that you know will include someone you would rather not see, do try to remember it is not about you. Surely there are a lot of other people you can find to talk to, and enjoy the day with. There are also infinite possibilities amongst the people you haven’t met yet.

Including unique family traditions will endear you to family members and friends alike. Lets face it we’ve all been to a wedding, they tend to follow a similar vein. When something a little out of the ordinary happens, it can also provide an icebreaker for people meeting for the first time. An intimate wedding, remembered fondly by those in attendance, had the couples’ Great Dane heading down the aisle in place of attendants. Round his neck he wore an enormous red bow in the same fabric as the brides’ dress. Needless to say he was impeccably well trained and could be counted on to behave appropriately for the occasion. Sadly not all human guests can be relied on to behave so well.

It is always appreciated by the couple when they are sent duplicate shots of their day from their guests. Some of the most charming and natural shots are taken by those who love them best rather than a professional hired for the event. While a professional reloads their camera, children in the bridal party or the family group may be climbing a tree or chasing an animal. Guests photos more often show the family relaxed and laughing rather than posed and formal.

A recent addition to many reception dining tables has been disposable cameras. Most photographic companies have obliged by bringing out a range of more subtle packaging for these events. These can be selected to blend in with the table layout or colour theme for the day. Be prepared to lose at least ten percent of these as some of your guests will invariably have forgotten their own camera, or run out of film. Either way they will be eternally grateful for its addition to the table, even if they never admit to swiping it. Note to guests, no matter how informal the event it is always considered in poor taste to use this camera to take intimate photographs or yourself or other guests.

And one last tip … a wedding is only one day. It can be the most stressful event of some peoples’ lives as it is often the largest and most important event they will organize. If things don’t go exactly to plan, try to see the funny side. Marriage is a lifelong journey for two people. Many people set getting married as a personal goal. Being in a mutually loving and supportive relationship, and wanting to stay there, is far harder to achieve.

Speed daters rotate from station to station every few minutes and meet a new potential mate at each station. Each dater takes turns asking the other person at their station questions until the clock expires and then they move onto the next station. Each dater takes notes on each date so they can sort of who they do or do not want to see again after the speed dating session. At most speed dating events the woman stay at the same station for the entire session while the males move station to station to meet each woman.

Those in favor of speed dating claim it is a much better, cheaper and safer method of meeting people than going into a bar. They also point out that it is much more efficient than other dating services, such as online dating, since you meet each person face-to-face and can gather information on them quickly. Also, physical attraction is much easier to judge in person than it is simply looking at pictures online.

A unique feature of speed dating is that participants are not allowed to ask each other out directly. Only those daters that have expressed mutual interest in each other will be given contact information to get in touch with their potential mate outside of the speed dating arena. This is a plus for those people who have a hard time handling rejection since they never have to deal with it face-to-face. Of course there is a possibility that no one will be interested in seeing you again. In this case, you would leave the speed dating event feeling much worse than before the event and you’d be unlikely to attend a speed dating event in the future.

Most speed dating services charge between $25 and $60 per person. The fee normally includes a couple of free drinks or a meal or snacks. Most speed dating sessions have between 50 and 150 participants, half male and half female.

Let’s say the average cost for a speed dating event is $40. Let’s also assume that there will be 55 single people the opposite sex at the event. To be introduced to 1 eligible single it would cost you $0.73 ($40 divided by 55). So the cost of meeting 100 potential soul mates is about $73.00.

One negative fact of speed dating is that you are forced to spend your time on “dates” with people you are not attracted to and have no interest in wasting both your time and money. Of course it’s only a few minutes and will be well worth it if you end up meeting someone special at that event.

If you do decide to give speed dating a try just be sure to follow one simple rule. No matter what happens… HAVE FUN!

Help For Planning A Wedding
There are numerous websites overloaded with information about how you can organize your wedding, step by step. They also let you have free wedding catalogs from which you can get useful ideas to plan your wedding.

Las Vegas, which is the entertainment capital of the world, is also the wedding capital of the world. Here you can have wedding planners arrange exotic themes for your wedding. Many couples enjoy a wide selection of wedding arbor, much of which becomes memorable keepsakes to the couple getting married, the wedding party and guests.

Look For A Good Wedding Gown
Before you begin your search for wedding dresses you may want to visit online wedding sites. These sites will have prices, suggestions and ideas for choosing the wedding dress of your dreams.
A wedding gown is important in any wedding. Your gown should be comfortable as well as beautiful.

In selecting your bridal gown, keep in mind the time of year and formality of your wedding. If you are planning a very formal wedding, a floor-length gown, cathedral train full-length veil, an elaborate headpiece, long sleeves or long arm-covering gloves, and a cascading bouquet are the things you choose.

It is a good idea to look at bridal magazines to compare various styles and colors. Always try on the gown before ordering it. When ordering a gown, make sure you order the correct size. If you are between sizes, order the larger one. You can always have your gown tailored down to fit. Do not take the chance of thinking you will lose enough weight before the wedding to fit into it. Don’t forget to ask when your gown will arrive. The gown should arrive at least six weeks before the wedding so you can have it tailored and select the appropriate accessories to complement it.

Some bridal boutiques have the practice of ordering gowns a size larger than needed. This requires more alterations, which may mean extra charges. Ask for all alteration pricing in advance. Also, gowns often fail to arrive on time, creating unnecessary stress for you.

Don’t Forget The Speech And Toasts
One aspect of weddings is delivering the perfect best man wedding speech and this can be a challenging responsibility for many men. There are points to consider – whether the speech should be humorous or safe and serious. There are also websites nowadays that offer free best man speeches. Just make sure you give this to the best man well ahead of schedule so he has time to customize it. You’ll also find classic short wedding toast examples as well.

To conclude, remember that a well prepared wedding well in advance is way less stressful than leaving everything to the last minute so make sure you budget some time each day to see to a most memorable day. The first day of a happily married couple’s life together.

Oh, I almost forgot - don’t forget the photographer and or videographer, they can be pricey but don’t pick the lowest price either or you’ll probably be disappointed. Often people opt for a family member or someone they know, just make sure the person that will be creating these memories via photo or film has done allot of wedding prior. Look for experience, follow-up on references and ask allot of questions!

The relationship between you and your spouse is personal and private. Going through divorce does not change that. To keep it that way you need a divorce attorney that you can trust and feel comfortable with.

Divorce is a life changing process. You should be as prepared as possible to all the legal technicalities that are involved. A divorce attorney will provide you with the needed help and information to make your divorce as smooth as possible.
One of the biggest issues of divorce is when there are children. It can be very beneficial to separate as friends when their are kids involved, if not it may lead to the children blaming themselves for the divorce.

There are some circumstances where couples don’t use a divorce attorney, but these are very uncommon due to the demanding amount of legal matters involved. Going through divorce without an attorney is not advisable, some courts even discourage the acts of self representation of these legal matters unless the representative is very knowledgeable in the court proceedings and the divorce law.

When finding a divorce attorney, you should feel comfortable with the lawyer or trust them. Remember, they are working for you!
Before choosing a divorce attorney, you should make a list of qualifications you want in your lawyer. Such as:

• Do you prefer a man or woman as your lawyer.
• Their age (young or old)
• Amount of cases settled.
• The overall cost of the process.
• The length of time the process would take.

Another way to find out if you will be comfortable with the lawyer is to schedule a free consultation. Be sure to ask a lot of questions, this will be their interview process. You have the right to know all terms and information in your lawyer-client relationship. That also goes for court proceedings. Your divorce attorney is representing you in the court and you have the right to know what going on.

Always remember before hiring a divorce attorney, to have a written agreement for his/her services. Carefully read it before signing. Never sign or accept a bill or document that isn’t detailed.

The first thing to do is consider all the distractions of daily life. With children, time commitments can be significant and can be all encompassing. There are car pools, school meetings, sports, birthday parties, homework, shopping trips, and it seems never ending sometimes. These things all help a child to develop social skills and are very important; however, so is your time alone with your spouse and you must try to find a balance.

Maybe you can figure a way to lighten the burden on both of you with regards to all the children’s activities by involving others, such as grandparents or aunts and uncles, to take on some of the picking up and dropping off chores. Most grandparents would love to have more time with their grandkids and would find the drive time a good opportunity to communicate more with the kids. What seems like a chore to you could be very enjoyable for the grandparents. Today kids are so busy that they often have little time to spend hours with grandparents so these encounters can be a special time. Maybe you can have a party away from your home at a pizza place or at a sporting event so you do not have to spend hours cleaning and preparing foods, etc. There are bird spotting tours and leaf identification tours that are lead by a Park Ranger which kids will love and will teach them the joys of being outside and nature. The time they are on the supervised hike can be a good time for you and your husband to take a short walk together and discuss some important issues or just relax and spend the time together.

The idea is to look at the week activities and see what time you can carve out for you and your husband alone. To have that time to speak to your spouse uninterrupted and to show care and concern are vital to a good marriage. It will make the time you do spend with the children much more productive for them and you as well.

A child senses when the parents are in synch in their marriage. The old saying, “The best gift you can give a child is happy parents” holds true in this modern day and age when everyone is so rushed and so intent on doing everything quickly. Take some time to preserve your love and concern for your husband or wife and it will pay off in happier children and more loving and nurturing for the family as a whole.

Plan your life and do not just let the world set up all the pressures that need to be met. Make your own goals for your family, your marriage, and your peace of mind.

This isn’t some flippant remark either. There are facts and research substantiating this statement.
With numerous studies made about all sorts of human behavior, the effect of love in its various guises brought up some startling revelations.

During world war two, a survey was conducted on what was the most needed by orphaned babies to thrive. The astounding discovery that human contact ie hugging and holding, was more important than even a good nutrition, blew the researchers away.

Here are four tangible effects that love has on people.

1. Love induces a state of happiness nad contentment. Apart from the measured chemical changes that happen in the body, good humour assists in the healing of any disease. The healing properties of laughter are the most effective means of curing cancer. This good humour, when brought on by a deep loving relationship, is about as powerful a healing agent as is known to man. Even the effects of ordinary medicine are enhanced by a relaxed and loving disposure. Apart from all this, love lowers blood pressure and helps prevent depression.

2. Couples that are in love, and I mean really still in love after years of being together, feel younger. Ageing seems to be slowed down by a loving environment. Couples still have a spring in their walk when with each other, even though their age in years should let them be much more sedate.

3. Love helps us cope. Life will be life. There will be trials and tribulations, disasters and tragedies. Being in a loving and caring situation, is really a pillar of strenght in these times. When there seems only despair, love is a reason to carry on, a reason to move forward. It provides the knowledge that things can improve.

4. Love is a necessary part of feeling fulfilled. For some reason, people that don’t have love, are always searching and never finding. Their whole life seems to be filled with striving for the next thing. Inner peace and contentment seems to elude them.

Some love facts to consider:
Being happily married to a supportive partner can halve your risk of developing diabetes - University of Washington Research.

Men that kiss their wives goodbye before going to work, are healthier and miss less days off work dure to illness, as well as living on average 5 years longer - German Researchers.

The companionship of a loving partner, lowers a cancers patients’ risk of dying as much as if they were 10 years younger say scientists.

Holding your partners hand for as little as ten minutes, greatly reduces stress levels - North Carolina University.

So what have you got to lose? Fall in love, stay in love, its the best thing you can do.

Always remember, the most important person to love, is yourself.

A healthy self respect and self love, is essential to being able to share love with another human being. Take care of yourself, then expand that loving feeling around you.

You have been dating someone since long after a great find on an online adult dating, site. It may not have been a love at first sight kind of thing but gradually perhaps without your knowing the relationship moved from casual to serious one.

Mature adult singles? Don’t take a plunge into relationship but follow a cautious approach towards building relations. The logic is simple; no one wants to experience the distress of a failed relationship.
You begin to meet regularly or live together- the first sign of moving into a serious relationship. Your relationship turns intimate and exclusive and memories of ex-partners or any other alliance fade away.
The attraction for others comes to a standstill even if the prospect is more appealing. When this happens it indicates that your relation ship has solidified and both dating couples have become serious about each other. The dating couple, now feels more comfortable in each others presence, and often reveal secrets that they have been hiding earlier.

Small fights that caused lots of distress earlier are tolerated easily and you start communicating more openly with your date. At some stage or other parents, friends or relations or even match makers for the more conservative may come into picture by way of being acquainted or sometimes as advisors.
In the final stage you or your date will begin asking serious question to explore the viability of a long term serious relationship. The next and final step is making commitments to each other about things that matter or things that may be futuristic.

You and your date will now stamp in the final seal of approval and marriage contract is signed eventually, thanks to online adult dating the new internet revolution.

Contributed by John Waltzer, a freelance writer and a web designer, have published many articles online and designed web sites as below
www.datingsearchaustralia.com.au
www.adultxdating.com.au
www.onlinedatingsite.com.au
www.gaydatingpersonals.com.au
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Support can take on many forms, but in the broadest sense, it is the willingness of two people in a relationship to lift and encourage each other to be the best that they can be. It is also the willingness for each of the individuals to be there for each other through both good and bad times.
Lack of support in a relationship can surface in many ways. It can be something as simple as a failure to be sympathetic when a mate has had a bad day at work, to the major support that is required when embarking on a new business endeavor or during life changing events.

Either way, if support is missing from a relationship in the early stages, chances are it will only get worse through the years. And at some point, it can escalate to the point of no return when much needed support is being sought after and no where to be found.

The reason support is so critical to a healthy relationship lies within the concepts of success and achievement. For two people to build a life together, it is critical for each of them to maintain their own identities while at the same time work together toward common goals and aspirations.

When considering the aspect of maintaining your own identity, it is perfectly normal that two people will not share identical interests in everything they do. One person may be an avid sports fan while the other doesn’t know a racquet from a club - and very well, may never care to learn.

This doesn’t mean, however, that the sports challenged mate must forever remain unsupportive of their partner. To the contrary, this is a perfect opportunity to give your partner the freedom to retain their own interests while still being supportive.

If you cringe at the thought of sitting through a sporting event that makes no sense to you, take game day as your opportunity to pursue something that piques your interest. In doing so, you are not only furthering your own separate identities, you are also imposing no feelings of guilt when you each pursue your own interests. In essence, you are supporting each other through extending the freedom to pursue individual passions.

The other area where couples often falter is in matters that involve each working toward a common goal. While maintaining your own identity is critical, it is equally vital to utilize a balanced amount of time and energy in joint endeavors. These might be business matters, financial goals, home improvement projects, and any number of activities that require both individuals working together as a team.

When identifying and implementing plans for an activity that requires the talent and focus of both people, it is critical to identify ultimate goal, create a plan to achieve it, set a timeline for its completion and outline each person’s role in the process.

By addressing these things, a clear picture will be formed of the expectations you will place upon each other and you will have given yourselves a means of measuring success. You will also be able to identify any areas of weakness that will enable you to assist each other along the way.

The couple that can effectively master these concepts will likely be the couple that will stand the test of time. No matter what the subject or the endeavor, these same principles will apply and are the key component for the successful outcome of any major joint endeavor.

The amount of support that is present in a relationship, or the lack thereof, will ultimately have a direct correlation to the success of that same relationship. You may recognize this fact in your own relationship or you may see it when you look around at the relationships of others.

Either way, when you become aware of the vital role that support plays in a relationship, it will forever change your approach. And thus, this discovery may ultimately be the turning point in your life that yields the success and achievement you are seeking.

Many times if you are in a marriage and wondering about a possible divorce, you seem to not be able to see others around you in a realistic light. Of course, couples fight and have disagreements, but the ones that stay together have learned how to fight and how to make their points and nurture their relationship. If you want to avoid a divorce and have a good marriage, there are some points to follow that may have been forgotten over time with the disagreements with kids, meals, job conflicts, sports schedules, discipline, etc.

First, you must recognize the other partner’s freedom to choose their position. Respect their independence and respect their thought processes. This is not saying that you cannot try to influence their decisions, only that you MUST respect their position. If you cannot respect their position, possibly you do not respect the person and you should give a lot of thought to the reason you feel this way. If they respect you, then you need to give the same respect back and if you cannot, then you need to figure out why.

Second, you must fight fair. This means that when a disagreement is noticed, talked about, and resolved with mutual satisfaction points, then it is not fair to bring it up again in a “punishment” sort of way. In most arguments, someone generally feels right and even though they may be wrong, the opinions usually remain, and you cannot win by bringing up the old fight and old attitudes. Let it go. Nothing is gained by harboring old hurts and judgments. If you and your partner cannot talk and resolve issues, then you need to figure out if you really want to resolve the conflict or if you just cannot communicate with the other person. Do you always have to have a drama going on? Whatever the reason, you and your partner need to have conclusions to personal issues and feel secure enough in each other’s care and concern that those conclusions will be respected by both parties.

Third, never, ever fight in front of the children. Seeing the two people they love argue and not being able to fix the problem or help, changes the way a child feels about themselves and about their world. They feel less secure and cared about. We need all our children to have tremendous self-esteem and know how to handle anger and express their opinions. Their parents, and especially the same sex parent, are their first and most important contacts in this process. Do not make them feel they are powerless and things are hopeless. Children need to be children and not involved in adult issues. Keep the discussions among the adults involved.

If you can talk to your partner in a loving way and still discuss a problem or situation, then you are on your way to keeping your love and your marriage alive and ongoing. Then you can be one of those people who others look at with envy and you will know that your marriage is secure and happy.

Spending some quality time together over a weekend at home is a good thing but as there are usually regular distractions such as the phone calls, friends dropping by or neighborhood noise, it is important to get away to a couple’s retreat where you don’t have these distractions.
Having a regular weekend getaway with your partner allows you to spend that quality time together without the day to day interruptions and distractions and allows you to reconnect with each other. Make a point of planning your weekend getaways as a regular thing on your calendar and be as committed to it as you would be with any business appointment as that quality time together is as important as anything else because if your marriage begins to breakdown then everything else in life is affected as well.

The best retreats to look for are those in hinterland type locations that are special couple’s retreats which do not allow children. These rules make these retreats very quiet and relaxing which allow you and your partner to focus on each other without any noise or distractions at all.

Some tips to make the most of your weekend getaway:

- Surprise your partner by phoning ahead and planning for some flowers to be placed in your room with a special note attached. This will certainly be a memorable surprise.

- Turn off the cell phone. This is an important one as you must eliminate as many outside distractions as possible to focus your attention on each other.

- Put on some relaxation music and give each other a massage, or alternatively pay for a professional couple’s massage. Many couple’s retreats have good deals on massages and other treatments which help to relieve the built up stress from daily life and are a great experience to share together.

- Share a spar bath together with some small candles, music and a glass of wine. Most couple’s retreats have a spar bath in the room or cabin and also have candles and wine to save you having to bring your own.

- Go on a nature walk together. Many couple’s retreats in hinterland locations have walking trails through forest areas which can be very enjoyable to do as a couple.

- Sit on the floor of your room or cabin facing your partner and hold each others hands while meditating. This is not only relaxing and a good way to release stress but also a very bonding experience.

By planning for a regular weekend getaway as a couple to spend that essential quality time together you will stay connected as a couple and keep your marriage strong no matter how busy your life is in between times. The small investment of time and money required for these getaways every few months will pay big dividends in the long term of your marriage.

A few words about what keeps love on track and couples happy:

Never go to sleep angry or hurt. Make up with words, make up with tears, then make up with passion. Mend emotional fences as they get broken. By doing this you confirm to your partner that you really care how he/she feels.

Say “I love you” every day - in words, gestures or actions and occasionally in surprisingly unexpected ways. Be wild and daring sometimes.

Keep dating. Plan events away from the kids, friends and family where the two of you can share “couple time” doing something fun, interesting or romantic. Pretend you are still dating and you have to impress with your charm, sense of humor, sexy good looks and intelligence.

Dance in the kitchen. Hold hands in the movie. Play in the bedroom. Relationships need a solid foundation. An exclusive, intimate, deep, trusting connection is vital for strength. Like any foundation, it will crumble without care, so work hard to keep the connection healthy.

Share all of you with your partner - every hope, dream, wish, doubt and misery. Do not recount only the events of your day, confide the secrets in your heart.

Laughter is essential for good physical health and acts like glue in a relationship. It helps when times are bad (and there will be bad times), and it makes good times better. Stick a note in a shoe. Phone with a joke. Tell a funny story. Tack this to the fridge.

Forgive then forget.

Compromise without rancor. Find a middle ground where you can. If you cannot and it is not life and death, give in. It doesn’t show weakness, it proves strength.

Fight fairly. Never be nasty, mean, cruel or physical.

Consider that there are few traits that may send you directly to a marriage counselor if you see them in yourself or your partner. Defensiveness, lying, stonewalling, criticism and contempt are (some) signs that your relationship is in serious trouble. Get help or start saving for lawyers.

Plan to care for your partner when you are gone. Get life insurance, make a will and write down or discuss your wishes - in detail. This seems basic, but the unexpected death of a family member a few months ago serves to remind me of just how important it is.

And lastly… give your love an extra kiss today and think about doing a little something special for them. It certainly won’t hurt, and it may make the most important person in your life smile. What could be better?